Off The Leash

The Real McKenzies Off The Leash Lyrics
1.Chip

Chip worked as a boatwright
As his father and his gran
Working in a boatyard
Building on the River Thames
One day Chip was hard at work
The Devil appeared from hell
He held a roll of copper
And a bucket full of nails

The Devil said unto Chip
Take these nails and copper roll
But you also have to take this rat
And I will take your soul
Chip despised the rat
The rat squealed and hissed
But the bucket o' nails and copper
Were too much to resist

Chip went straight to work
He'd get rid of the rat
And there would not be a problem
With his death after the fact
But the devil rat wouldn't die
No matter how hard he tried
The rat attacked the boatwright
And he bit him in the eye

It seemed as if the river rats
Fell under Satan's spell
They followed Chip around
And made his life a living hell
He slowly lost his mind
He lost his family
He lost his job
And had to join the Kings' Navy

A lemon grows a pip
A yard will build a ship
As Satan is my master
I will get you Chip
A lemon grows a pip
A yard will build a ship
As Satan is my master
I'm gonna get you

The rats chased Chip
Up the gangplank of the ship
They bit him and they tortured him
Until he finally flipped
He sniveled to the captain
To turn around the rig
The captain spied his madness
And chucked him in the brig

Now the devil rat had his man
He knew just what to do
He'd command the rats
And through the planks they'd chew
The water rushed in
The ship went down
She was smashed around the rocks
On which the rats danced around

A lemon grows a pip
A yard will build a ship
As Satan is my master
I will get you Chip
A lemon grows a pip
A yard will build a ship
As Satan is my master
I will get you Chip

A lemon grows a pip
A yard will build a ship
As Satan is my master
I will get you Chip
A lemon grows a pip
A yard will build a ship
As Satan is my master
I'll get you Chip


2.The Lads Who Fought & Won

That Serbian man
Assassinated Archduke Ferdinand
With what would transpire
Would change the world
And set Europe afire

On one side the Czar and the King
And on the other stood
The Kaiser and Ottoman thang
The boys and the men and the girls
Were armed and mobilzed
Their forces aligned

They crawled through the mud
And they cut through the wire
A constant assault of artillery fire
The curtain of shrappel
Took the flesh from the bone
They fell in the field
And never got home

They were the lads
Who fought and won

Up over the bridge
A heavy fortress lies
Atop of the ridge
Bristling with guns
Autro-Hungarian Empire dug in

They fought through the night
Like the devil at dawn
The enemy captured
Or dead on the ground
It wasn't achieved without terrible loss
Posthumous award of Victoria Cross

They were the lads
Who fought and won


3.The Ballad Of Greyfriars Bobby

John Gray was a gardener
Who, with his wife and bairn
Arrived in Edinburgh
The century was nearly turned
The year was 1800
That year was harsh and cold
He could nae find nae work
Their future so unsure

To avoid the workhouse
And for his family
He joined the police force
A constable was he
A condition of his service
He had to take a dog
To watch by his side
He chose a terrier frae sky

This is the balla of Greyfriars Bobby
The dog with whom his master
He would stay
No pain of fear
For 14 long years
He stood by his master's grave
(And he's still standing there today)

Succumbing to his fate
In 1858
Johnny Gray passed away
Laid down in Greyfriars Churchyards
No marker on his grave
His faithful terrier stayed there
He would not go away

The groundskeeper was told
The dog must be a lout
The Greyfriars parish told him
To keep that rascal out
But Bobby so devoted to his master after death
The people fed and sheltered him
and idoled him instead

Now Bobby and his
Master stand together
Though they're dead
Their bonds, as they say
Reaches far beyond the grave
So now you know the story
If anybody asks you
You tell em of the Statue
That's in Edinburgh today


4.Kings Of Fife

We fot the kilt to Leven
The kids up there
Had multicolored hair
A bunch of gnarly punks
They welcomed us with open arms
We shared together
Everything we had
Twasn't much

So here's to the lasses
Here's to the lads
And the good times
We were so glad to have
Drinking in the Kingdom of Fife

They us to Kilcaldy
Then to Dundee
Up the coast to Aberdeen
Hey what a crazy scene
We made so many friends up there
To name them all's impossible for me
Oh yeah, I was that drunk

So if you ever get up to Leven
You better do this just for me
Have a drink with the Kings of Fife
Have a drink in the Kingdom of Fife


5.Old Becomes New

As long as I've been around
To my convictions I am bound
Well here's what I've found
In the cities and towns
Life ain't nothing but a merry-go-round

You know that life never ends
So get out there with your friends
Hey what have you got to lose
But you do gotta choose
The direction in which you move

It's All Been Done Before

It's always been my belief
That everything is gonna repeat
Hey let there be no debate
Whether early or late
So the laws of history state

If you hang around long enough
You'll see that everything starts to rust
Then shine it all up til it's tip-top
And old becomes new again

It's All Been Done Before

And if you hang around long enough
And you experience really cool stuff
You'll see that old becomes new
Then new becomes old
Til old becomes new again


6.White Knuckle Ride

Get in and buckle up
Ye got cher motor runnin'
step in and get in gear
Your ass is outta there
Fire up in the pipe
Getting the timing right
Transmission very tight
Off into the night

And now we on the town
I clutch and work a stick
Don't wanna blow a motor
250 clicks
Let the tires slip
Into a power drift
The sound of metal and meat
Sideways down the street

Growlin' like a tiger
Flying down the autobahn
Screaming down the turnpike
On a wicked motorbike

You know I gotta move
It gets me in the mood
Do what i wanna do
Not caring what I'm doing
It makes me feel alive
When I get out and drive
So fast that when I leave
In minutes I arrive

I drive a hot reactor
Nuclear isotope
It's using hydrogen
To get me where I'm going
The only trouble is
In a collision
We'll take the city down
In an atomic cloud

Flying down the 89
On my way to Mexico


7.The Maple Trees Remember

In days of yore from foreign shores
The royal minions came
And planted firm their feckless flags
On such a fair domain

It marked the beginnings of the end
Of those who first were there
The cultures and a people proud
Were lost forevermore

The maple tree who once stood strong
Come gather round and sing this song together
Forget their queen and all she mans
The Maple Tree
The Maple Tree Remember

Protect the weak and show the strength
Of natural cathedrals in paradise
Above which shine
The northern lights
The way we are, remember?

Mountains and prairies
From sea to sea
Blue unending skies
If you spy those endless skies
A hungry eagle flies

Oh Canada your forests stood
for 250 million moons
with axe and saw
they hacked you down
the end will be here soon

The marathon of greed decreed
Those traitors made it all clear
Majestic trees who once grew tall
Were doomed to disappear


8.Anyone Else


9.My Mangy Hound

Somebody's lunch was scattered round the playground
A mangy hound Was draggin' it around
We laughed, we laughed
Cause some poor sucker
Had lost the lunch
He was given by his mother
My soul will burn eternally
For in that lunch was stuff
Mum made for me, for me

The custodian was called to the scene
She looked at me and read me
Like a magazine
She laughed, she laughed
Until she discovered
The nice lunch I was given by my mother
Was torn and shredded hopelessly
And the dog had ate my lunch Mum made for me, for me

I was the kid
with the spotty brown banana
I had a lunch
with a liverwurst sandwich
But now they're gone
Scattered all around the playground
By a dirty old mangy hound

Much later, safe in my room
I heard an animal
Howling at the moon
I laughed, I laughed
Until I discovered
The dog that ate my lunch Was howling for my supper
My soul was filled with sympathy
From that night on that dog has lived with me

And I got something better
my best friend now
is that mangy hound


10.Too Many Fingers

two papers with time on the hands
took all then won the competition
push plates for you on the right
to drink cold beer untill the next day lights
than the public sure had flow
it was packed to the rafters with backstabbing thrones
that's why they're blowing fresh as pipers
swarming around like massive vipers
winning my babies in dirty diapers
there y.eer's made him squeal (*1)
it soured at our ears
we guzzle the drinks as we went

Refrein

and my head hurts so bad
rolling in pain
give me one more chance
i would do it again
so i took a shot of scotch
straight to my brain
this is how the whole thing started
just yesterday

just too drunk kicked out to the street
for sucking back whiskey like pups on a tit
arm in arm we found our way home
to get some sleeping its already dawn
making worse the best of intent
hoping my mother is not uneasy bent
stilt track, stagger the stag

there was marching and piping and nests of vipers
bleeding like babies and dirty diapers
my y.eers 'd made her squeal
it soured at my ears
i know there was nowhere to run

now my head hurts so bad
im rolling in pain
give me one more chance
i would do it again
so i took a shot of scotch
straight to my brain
this is how the whole thing started

(guy talks)
here the highly encouraged than finally arives
in hot persuit of the only cure known to man for our temporary
unisys
better set on the whisky killer
we now have him
having the whiskey
having the competitors
five-hundred screaming vipers
screaming, striking, striking, screaming, screaming,
striking, striking, screaming aahaahaahaahaahaa

and my head hurts so bad
im rolling in pain
give me one more chance
i would do it again
so i took a shot of scotch
straight to my brain
this is how the whole thing started

and my head hurts so bad
im rolling in pain
give me one more chance
i would do it again
so i took a shot of scotch
straight to my brain
this is how the whole thing started
yesterday


11.Drink Some More

Like a squid, up at dawn
An' I drag me butt tae me job.
Not a break, front to back
Kicking balls to the wall
Down a mile a hole
Moving mountains of coal
While here's to hell
It's ringing my bell
Sing a song, bang a gong
And tonight would be good to be bad.

So I take a wee dram
Just to take off the edge
Whether diggin' a ditch
Or swinging a sledge
I drink to ignore high society's crap.
Bot'tla' whiskey in me
And I ain't even whacked
Now I know how it feels for the rat
On the wheel to run for the cheese.

We drink and we drink and we drink some more
The only thing better than drinking for me
Is when I'm drinking with you
and we're drinking for free.

I feel drunk and tight
Just a wee bit tipsy tonight
It's the best that I've had
But I've puked on my kilt
Will you call me a cab
Will you call me a cab
For now I must go
To wake up at dawn
For a heave and a hoe
And tonight was good to be bad


12.Guy On Stage

Remember in the 60's
Just a wee toy lad
Influence by rockers
Most of them were mad
Throwing TV's in the pool
Livin' life so fast
By the time I caught up
All of it was in the past

Then arrived the 70s
I thought I was gonna lose it
Then I got into it
And sold my soul to music
Those of us still alive
Are standing here today
Tellin' people jokes that
Make them wince and walk away

Can you believe it
There is a little of animal
Who wants to misbehave
And from now on
We're gonna try to keep
That guy on stage

The 80's and the 90's I remember as a blur
Most of my time on tour
And playing shows around the world
Then came the new millennium
And everything got weird
Imagine me the monkey
Swinging from a chandelier


So here I am today
And I've got a lot to say
About the things I've done
I thought was fun
To keep my trouble on the run
Let me tell you something
Deep inside I'm not so bad
I never meant to hurt nobody
Or make nobody feel bad


13.Culling The Herd

Great pharaoh of today
Junked up I'm on a day crusade
Oh what a clever charade
Great western garden states
Break laws to keep the people down
A self elected clown

Take the children of the nation
Offer them an education
Life or death is no vacation
On a covert operation to
Do what they tell you to do

Put em in a uniform
Start culling the herd
Orient the ordinance
Start culling the herd

Religion holds instruction
To be a weapon of mass distraction
Soon they'll make a martyr of you
Engage take the flak
Stretched out on a rack by the pool
For a barrel of crude

Holy mission of an attrition
Politicians coalition
Are you going?
Yes I am I'll see you in Afghanistan in June
Marching in a platoon